Woody
Last night FOX plumbed new, horrifying depths... but first:
Meet My Folks: the finale was Saturday night. The best girl won (I wonder
if she actually wears flowers in her hair regularly, or if NBC made her).
The fattie got the first boot, and boy was she bitter. The 2 white girls
were both s1uts of the highest form, what is wrong with these people?! And
what's up with the dude anyway? He said 8 words over the course of several
days and 3 hours of TV. He offers nothing. No way would Chelsea ever date
that loser in real life. Oh well, she got a phat trip to Europe out of it.
That mom and that 2nd place s1ut had equally long teeth. Nasty.
Let it be said that instead of the insipid Antiques Road Show, which will be
shown to be a bunch of hooey soon enough, I watched UConn beat St. John's.
Despite my apparent love of these horrible shows, sports will always
supercede them.
Bridezilla: So stupid. All this show did was reinforce middle america's
views of NYC and the "liberal Jewish elite." Thanks for playing up
stereotypes, girls! That one chick (the 20 minutes cocktail hour girl) had
her reception at the W hotel. That place is so expensive I couldn't even
imagine. "The worst part of wedding planning is dealing with your fiance's
ignorance." Shut up, you loser. Boy, that guy is in for a happy marriage,
huh? And that princess girl with her $15,000 necklace that she just had to
have. You shut up too. Thank god I'm having a normal little wedding with
115 guests and a fiancee who is nothing like those chicks. Seriously, man.
That show was painful to watch... I noticed the same announcer voice guy
does all the One Time Fox specials now. Like, thats his job, announcing
retarded Fox shows. I'll bet his card says, "retarded Fox show announcer."
Joe $$, I hate this show so much it makes me spit blood. I hate everything
about it... I hate that the guy is a dumb as a stump and as smooth as the
Tall Girl's skin on HighSchool Reunion. (Since Hoang and I are the only ppl
to watch that show, trust me, that joke was funny). Everything he says
appears to be from a cue card. I hate his clothes, the way he walks, his
stupid greezy hair, his feigned tortured ethics. Loser. I hated MoJo, and
the way the stupid butler says, "MohJoh." I hate her teeth, her hair, her
wardrobe. I hate how she says she's 24. 24!! Is she insane? I hate that
her mental illness was displayed for the world to see, her check written to
herself for a million bucks, her ridiculous poem (It made the Bachelorette's
Ryan seem downright Whitman-esque), her puzzle of herself?
Seek...help...now... I hate Melissa and her hair and her big gums and her
attitude. I hate that one of her comments seemed scripted as well: "Sure he
drinks beer and goes to Hooters, but I'll fix him." I hate the way she
smokes on tv. I hate the way the butler says, "Mayleesah." I hate that she
didn't know what garlic looked like and we're supposed to find that quaint.
I hate that her tomato chopping method was more Freddy Krueger than Martha
Stewart. I hate how she always has her fingers in her hair. I hate the
other one, although the hummer she apparently gave Evan allowed us to be
part of the lowest Fox has ever gone. Who knows what really happened, but
it was funny. The subtitles were brilliant, clearly the work of someone
funny. "Mwah." "slurp." "Gulp." I hate her big ol fake cans. I hate Zora
for not speaking up and stating that she hates Evan and she hates the show.
I hate that she kept her tank top on while in the hottub, clearly hiding
some "rating boosters." I hate that the other 3 crashed their date. I hate
that I'll watch this crap again next week.
RR/RW challenge: Nothing of note, except idiot Puck and his, "I"m gonna
torment Ellen for no reason," stupidity. Oh, that and MTV came up with yet
another challenge involving bikinis and swimsuits. Kudos (although I think
the guys are probably better looking than the women, in general.) I liked
how g@y Dan was lounging with the women. Cuz thats what g@y guys do!
Did you know that ABC Family has a bunch of weird, failed network reality
shows? Saw 20 mins of one last night called, "last resort" with 3 married
couples on teh rocks trying to get things right. It, of course, really
$ucked.
tonight, W gives a state of the union address, which will, unfortunately, be
harder to watch than Big Brother 1, unintentionally funnier than Joe
Millionaire, and sadder than Bridezilla.