Tuesday, January 14, 2003
Woody's reality take 01/14/03
Ohhh, where do I begin? First up last night (the TV reviewing business gets exhausting) was the first hour of the AMA's. While watching I told myself, "I should take notes" but, of course, thats a bit ridiculous since I'm not getting paid and these emails just get deleted tonight anyway.
Elton John opened up with some country dude. Elton John has a billion dollars and he STILL has a horrible haircut. The Osbournes hosted which was retarded b/c a) you can't understand Ozzy, b) Jack is vocal about his disdain for all the bands on his stupid show and there he was, heaping praise on the likes of B2K and Toby Keith, c) Kelly is the Miss Media Wh0re 2003, but she looks like a pile of mashed potatoes with bad makeup, and the mom curses so much that 1/2 of their banter was bleeped out. It was retarded. I hate awards shows, but they are usually good for someone to make themselves look stupid, but in my channel surfing, I didnt see too much. Too countrified. My favorite winner, of course, was Avalon in the "Inspirational Band" category. Y'know, AVALON, man! (Side Note: Hoang was friends with some kid who's in Jars of Clay now. Thats funny to me). Chistina made the good marketing move of wearing tasteful clothes and showcasing her voice. Now old people will buy her junk, but young men like me were flipping channels. I don't remember anything else, except Creed won 2 awards... and they werent for "Suckiest Band Ever" somehow. Although POD would tie them... Now that I remember, POD was nominated with Jars of Clay and Avalon in the aforementioned Inspirational category. Awesome.
9PM rolled around and it was time for the worst new show out there, hands down, Joe Millionaire. Unwatchable. Ed's and Rob's notes below pretty much say it all, but I have to reitterate: This show is totally lame. The intro mentioned something about, "We'll bring 20 beautiful women to the chateau," at which point I said to Hoang, "Wow, that sounds cool. What show is that?" Those women are trolls. that Mo-Jo white trash Jani Lane hair having loser is simply atrocious. Brandi had some appeal, and 1 or 2 others, but whatever. After last night, I am more convinced that the "joke" will be on us, the viewer. The grainy b&w shot of Joe with the butler late at night talking about how badly he feels was so contrived, the lines were rehearsed, it was very telling. All his snippets seem written for him. But the point is, so what if he really is worth millions, he's a dull, dumb, lunkhead. "I need to see if these women can shovel coal because I get stinky at my jobsite." Huh? Retard. But Fox is still genius b/c they marketed it so well... Imagine if Surreal Life was on Fox? Christ, it would out-Nielson the super bowl. Heidi talked out the side of her mouth like James Cagney. "Yeahhh, seeeee, I've gotta boyyyfriend, seeeee."
10PM came and it was on to MTV for the RW/RR challenge. Just like last week, it was refreshing to see some hot women (in bikini's no less) and I'm sure the ladies were happy to see Eric Neis and his pectoral veiny things. What is wrong with Laterian (besides his unfortunate astrological sounding name)? He's way too intense for something so stupid. Puck was quiet this show. Beth from LA was too. Ruthie looks like a Fraggle Rock puppet. Lori is still hot to me, even though she's an embarrassment to women everywhere. Ellen is also very cute, but I guess she is an idiot too, but I never watched her RR show. That kid from HI RW is still the "nice" Caring guy. Loser. I heard a rumor Gisela wins, whoever that is. Ok, enough.
Rob's take
I am going to have to second this sentiment. Besides being 100% fake it's pretty boring as well. The entire Heidi has a boyfriend "controversy" never went anywhere. Where was the cat fight, preferably while wearing lingerie of some sort? I was surprised he didn't pick Dana. I like Melissa, not Melissa Jo, the girl whose hair was all Princess Leia during the rain storm. She strikes me as actually, possibly, being nice.
Real World Road Rules Challenge, however, still holds a certain fascination for me. These people are all the lamest, most desperately needy people I've ever seen. Letarrian "this experience has been the most amazing of my life. I love all of you like brothers" was voted off along with annoying Beth from the LA show. Why does she come back? No one likes her.
Antiques Roadshow is reality TV at its best. The intensity the appraisers have for their job is truly admirable. To watch Leslie Keno prattle on about the feet on some 250 year old chair is worth the $20 I give to PBS each year. You know Leslie (a guy) was beaten up as a kid. I don't think his brother Leigh was much help. Great show, one I actually go out of my way to watch. The most watched PBS show by far. http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/roadshow/
Joe Millionare.... again
I must say Joe Millionare has hit the wall for me. After seeing how great reality TV can be with Surreal Life, this just doenst measure up.
My main poblem is the show is 100% fake. The premise is they are taking some poor schlub who only makes 19k a year and giving him an eliza doolittle makeover, and hoping to try and find his princess. But he has to make sure that she loves him for him!
None of this is real. The guy may make 19k in his day to day job, but hes a partime/aspiring actor/model. He's not looking for a princess because he said himself he's not ready to settle down, and he can go into any bar anytime he wants and have his pick. He's an actor and he knows the part they want him to play, complete with a butler with a heart of gold. The women on the show are doing the same. They know the reality show "drill". Play up to the camera's for screen time (Even Heidi admitted last night she already has a boyfriend). And even if you do win, it doesn't mean anything, cuz look at the bachelor (noones engaged). So you really could care less what happens. Its just watching a bunch of wannabe actors in some weird Kabuki theatre.
That being said, Allison is the hottest, and Dayana is the ugliest.
